Via 365DaysofWords
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Moving Forward.
I realized what I wanted to do in March. I graduated with my MA in educational administration and policy for damn near free in May. I was laid off from my teaching job about one week later (which was a blessing because I was gonna quit anyway. Turns out after 2 years that ish was NOT for me lol). So now... all I have left to do is go after what I want.
I no longer have the excuse of already having a job and no time, since I've been laid off. My new MA means little in the field in which I want to work. My credential is cleared. There is nothing stopping me from just going back to school and doing what needs to be done.
That being said, I've decided to move to Arizona. This fall I start the leveling courses for Communication Sciences and Disorders online and apply to grad schools. Fall 2013 I will begin the MS program. What does this mean? 3 more years of school. Uncertainty. and no money. BUT. I'll be working towards what I want, towards more money-making potential and much much more stability than being a teacher could EVER provide.
July 31st marks the next chapter in my life - a move to a state in which I have no family. 2 friends. and no job. Lawd hammercy. If I weren't so damn excited I'm sure I'd be scared out of my mind. lol.
I no longer have the excuse of already having a job and no time, since I've been laid off. My new MA means little in the field in which I want to work. My credential is cleared. There is nothing stopping me from just going back to school and doing what needs to be done.
That being said, I've decided to move to Arizona. This fall I start the leveling courses for Communication Sciences and Disorders online and apply to grad schools. Fall 2013 I will begin the MS program. What does this mean? 3 more years of school. Uncertainty. and no money. BUT. I'll be working towards what I want, towards more money-making potential and much much more stability than being a teacher could EVER provide.
July 31st marks the next chapter in my life - a move to a state in which I have no family. 2 friends. and no job. Lawd hammercy. If I weren't so damn excited I'm sure I'd be scared out of my mind. lol.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mother's Day 2012
It's Mother's Day.
For the first time in years, I did not spend Mother's Day with my mother. Our relationship got complicated a few months ago, and then it broke. We are not the same. I am not the same. She is not the person she used to be, not the person she raised me to think she was.
It hurts. Even in my teenage years I was never a girl that had problems with her mother. We were close. I didn't shun her. Didn't harbor any teenage angsty hate. Hell I wanted to be her. Now? Not so much.
Now we have a "Hi, how are you, I'm fine thanks, you?" kind of relationship.
I figure we'll be okay at some point. A cautious relationship. Never quite the same, but never quite as bad. I know this isn't ideal.... but I'll take what I can get. She's my mother, after all.
For the first time in years, I did not spend Mother's Day with my mother. Our relationship got complicated a few months ago, and then it broke. We are not the same. I am not the same. She is not the person she used to be, not the person she raised me to think she was.
It hurts. Even in my teenage years I was never a girl that had problems with her mother. We were close. I didn't shun her. Didn't harbor any teenage angsty hate. Hell I wanted to be her. Now? Not so much.
Now we have a "Hi, how are you, I'm fine thanks, you?" kind of relationship.
I figure we'll be okay at some point. A cautious relationship. Never quite the same, but never quite as bad. I know this isn't ideal.... but I'll take what I can get. She's my mother, after all.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Just a walking contradiction
At times, like in THIS post, I want to be a housewife.
Other times? I want to be alone. An author living in a condo by myself, writing books and short stories. Visiting my nieces and nephews, but returning to my space happily. Sort of how my aunt did it. (Is doing it).
It's very hard to reconcile those two desires.
I say all this to say: I broke up with my boyfriend because I freaked and didn't want to be married. Now? I'm afraid I'll die alone. Even tho alone is mainly how I like to be.
Maybe I need therapy. lol.
Other times? I want to be alone. An author living in a condo by myself, writing books and short stories. Visiting my nieces and nephews, but returning to my space happily. Sort of how my aunt did it. (Is doing it).
It's very hard to reconcile those two desires.
I say all this to say: I broke up with my boyfriend because I freaked and didn't want to be married. Now? I'm afraid I'll die alone. Even tho alone is mainly how I like to be.
Maybe I need therapy. lol.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
They Say Fools Rush In
I think you could safely call me a fool.
So now, my question -- how do you extract yourself from a relationship that was on track for marriage. Especially if you live with them? (Yea yea yea I know we probably never should have moved in together.) It just seemed so right. Now?
After arguing over simple shit like "you always give me the small piece of steak" ... (which resulted in me saying fug it then, I'm not cooking steak ever again)..... I realized I'm not meant for domesticity. I sort of always knew that. I thought, with him, it was different. I'm not so convinced anymore. I still dream of moving out the country. Still.
A friend of mine just got a job teaching English in El Salvador at an American school. My god.... that's what I pictured for myself after leaving Teach For America. June marks the end of my TFA days.... and I'm not moving out of the country. It hurts... more than it does to think about ending our relationship.
I just don't know how. Which does not bode well.
So now, my question -- how do you extract yourself from a relationship that was on track for marriage. Especially if you live with them? (Yea yea yea I know we probably never should have moved in together.) It just seemed so right. Now?
After arguing over simple shit like "you always give me the small piece of steak" ... (which resulted in me saying fug it then, I'm not cooking steak ever again)..... I realized I'm not meant for domesticity. I sort of always knew that. I thought, with him, it was different. I'm not so convinced anymore. I still dream of moving out the country. Still.
A friend of mine just got a job teaching English in El Salvador at an American school. My god.... that's what I pictured for myself after leaving Teach For America. June marks the end of my TFA days.... and I'm not moving out of the country. It hurts... more than it does to think about ending our relationship.
I just don't know how. Which does not bode well.
Monday, January 23, 2012
The Taming of the ..... I mean, the Naming of the Child...
Who should name the kid?
In my opinion, seeing as how both the mother and father are completely necessary for the creation and raising of the child, they should compromise on a name. Apparently that is not how things work in some people's heads.
-__________-
In my opinion, seeing as how both the mother and father are completely necessary for the creation and raising of the child, they should compromise on a name. Apparently that is not how things work in some people's heads.
-__________-
Saturday, January 21, 2012
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